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The Therapist's Self-Disclosure

  • Writer: florentaturlea
    florentaturlea
  • Jun 29, 2021
  • 2 min read

Updated: Jun 13


Many clients are surprised when, in our very first session, I ask: “Is there anything you’d like or need to know about me?”Most often, the response is “Nothing,” or “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.”


We’re about to begin a process that can be painful, rewarding, sometimes frustrating—a journey full of ups and downs, insights, periods of stagnation, maybe radical changes, or deep self-exploration. In this process, it’s essential for the therapist and client to relate from an OK–OK position: I’m OK, and you’re OK.Each of us has the capacity to make personal changes, to grow into our full potential, and to find happiness.This same dynamic will unfold in our relationship—a safe space where those changes can be explored and practiced for the first time.


The purpose of my question is to signal to the client that, just as I will often be the one asking questions, they too have the right to ask things about me.Most clients aren’t aware of that right.And even if they’re caught off guard in the beginning, it’s important they know: whatever they need to know about me can be asked at any point, later on, or whenever it feels right.


In any healthy relationship, information flows both ways.It’s natural for the person sitting across from me to want to know something about who I am.The myth of the mysterious, blank-slate therapist is just that—a myth.The relational approach in psychotherapy has proven to be far more effective.That’s why I always tell my clients: if at any point in our work together you want to know something about me, you can simply ask.


Sitting in the therapist’s chair does not place me on a higher rung of the ladder.The client–therapist relationship is based on transparency, and either of us can speak about the quality of our connection at any time.For a client who opens up in such intimate ways in my presence, it’s vital to know that the relationship runs deep on both sides.With every session we spend together, I learn more about my clients—and, inevitably, more about myself in relationship with them.In effective therapy, information flows freely between us, unblocked and reciprocal.


Of course, a therapist’s self-disclosure must always serve the client’s therapeutic benefit.Irrelevant information has no place in this space, and what is shared—and how much—is always at the therapist’s discretion.


 
 
 

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